she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Randomize
