do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Randomize
