After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize
