Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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