i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
I said "one day" and that day is not today
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
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