UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
Randomize
