Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
