Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
