Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Randomize
