her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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