Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
Randomize
