It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
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