ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Randomize
