trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Randomize
