whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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