I'd wear matching sweaters with you
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Randomize
