dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
Randomize
