Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
