One girl and one boy is just not enough.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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