What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
