yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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