Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
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