we have pet lesbian snakes
do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
