I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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