Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
Randomize
