im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
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