I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
he's gonorrhea incarnate
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Randomize
