He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Randomize
