Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
