my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Randomize
