I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
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