He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
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