No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Randomize
