Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
When are your genitals available?
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Randomize
