Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
