so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
Randomize
