If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Randomize
