You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
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