I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
