seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
Randomize
