Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
