then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
Randomize
