Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
