i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
Randomize
