In America we eat man semen.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
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