genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
