rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
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