it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
