so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize
