I can text with my tongue
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
The uberlube is also flammable
It's rum buckets o'clock
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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