There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
