Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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