why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
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