It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
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