Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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