Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Randomize
