Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
