New low: just hacked my moms facebook
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Randomize
